Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
