i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
