It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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