Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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