there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
