ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
