Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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