Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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