I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize