Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize