after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
