Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
