You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
