Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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