Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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