You really coming over, don't trick.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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