good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
