i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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