Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
