I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just high enough for therapy.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize