I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
