just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
