He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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