just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
