the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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