just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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