you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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