You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
