at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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