No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I have fence marks all over my body
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
we're so committed to being not committed
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
