Fine. I'll sleep in my office
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
