just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
