So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
