I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
