He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
