dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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