she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
