I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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