Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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