found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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