There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
