How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
