Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
