I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
