This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
