remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
