You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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