woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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