I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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