Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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