All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
