Its about making memories worth repressing
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
