My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
