And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
