Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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