fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
