O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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