how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i would one night stand the shit outta him
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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