all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
