shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
