I hate your face
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
