Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I need moral support for this bender
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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