Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
