Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
