Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
