Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
