Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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